We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
