Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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