What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
