Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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