She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
