Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
