Only a mothe r could love this liver
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize