that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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