just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize