Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
