I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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