Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
