Screwed.edu
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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