I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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