I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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