well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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