It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
