It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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