pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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