Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
