i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
