i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You left your phone here
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