I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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