He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
