oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
