I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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