Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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