I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
