I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize