did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
