I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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