i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
