is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
