Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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