She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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