After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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