If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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