So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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