so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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