I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize