Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
