Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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