DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
