We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
