he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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