Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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