Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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