WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
