If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
