why didn't you poke me back
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
