Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
