god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize