Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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