I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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