have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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