did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
