I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
