god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
