laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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