At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
