Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
