i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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