the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
