Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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