Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
